How can I stop attracting commitment phobic men! It’s been 5 years since I actually had a proper boyfriend and frankly I am fed up with meeting guys who convince me that they really like me only for when I start to push for something a little bit more serious they either decide that they just want to be friends or that “they aren’t ready for a relationship”.
I don’t know if it’s me but I can’t seem to keep a man interested long enough to become a boyfriend. Help!
You say it is 5 years since you last had a proper boyfriend and yet you seem to have been involved in this time with a succession of commitment phobic guys or men you simply cannot keep interested. My first questions to you would be where you are meeting these men? and what attracts you to this particular sort in the first place?
There are guys out there who are totally commitment phobic, but there are also a lot more that want nothing more than to be in a loving and committed relationship with the woman of their dreams.
Maybe you should just relax and not try to be in a relationship so much and just see what comes your way when you date people from a different kind of arena than you are currently prowling. Meet people, including guys, from clubs, associations or groups that interest you, so join some with a friend maybe and meet people you actually have a common interest with already. There are also some good dating websites for people who are just looking for a committed relationship and not a fling.
If you also still meet a guy in a bar or at work that you like then this is fine also, but maybe you shouldn’t try to get him into a relationship. You can’t ‘push’ for a relationship to be more serious, it either is or it isn’t and if it is, a regular guy will want to talk to you about it at some point anyway, with neither party forcing the issue, but rather two people chatting about the exciting possibilities ahead.
Finally, sit yourself down and have a very honest chat with yourself one evening about the guys you have dated over the last 5 years. What is it about them that initially attracted you and why… and what was so different about your last proper boyfriend 5 years ago? because i have a suspicion that there is something in you that likes a certain type, unfortunately one of the traits of this particular type that you like is that they are just not looking for a long term relationship! so shouldn’t be your type in the first place, and yet you seem to think they are.
So, be completely and brutally honest with yourself and say what attracted you to them in the first place and i think then you will see the reason why you keep dating this type… and then it is up to you to change, and maybe look for someone different but better and maybe who has less obvious qualities when you meet them.